CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

pissring

OK, I’ve read tons of stats over the weekend describing why the Phils have sucked so hard lately. But none of them lead to any conclusive reason in particular besides the entire team being in an offensive slump at the same time. The starting pitching hasn’t necessarily been awful but from what I’ve heard Ryan Howard is deathly ill as a result of having to watch the Phillies bullpen this last week. The good news? The Phils are somehow still in first place by 2 games. That is because the Mets have also been sucking real hard as well. But if you think about it, had we played even decent over this past week the Phils would be in first place by about 6-8 games. That would have been nice.

But I think I know the true reason the Phils have been sucking the proverbial nuts, and it is pretty obvious…

WE FUCKING NEED RAUUUUUL BACK!!!

-Chris (@LONG_DRIVE)

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