Luis Guzman

Luis Guzman

I’m not so sure. What I do know, is Carlos Ruiz is back, in a big way. I’m a Chooch stalwart: I think the pitching is better when he’s behind the plate, because he has the trust of the pitching staff, and trust begets confidence – and confidence is paramount. Don’t believe me? Then how else would guys like Luis Guzman get laid?

Here’s a list of some other things I know about the Phillies of late:

  • Since spanking the Cardinals in St. Louis 10 days ago, the Phils have dropped 6 of 8 games.
  • Of those 8 games, 6 were at home and they lost 4 of those.
  • Those losses account for 3 straight lost series.
  • The ageless Jamie Moyer is now just Jamie Moyer.  Much like in 1991, when Iraq’s Elite Republican Guard became the Republican Guard, and they didn’t even get bombed as much as Mr. Moyer has recently.
  • A frustrating trend continues to negate Cole’s solid pitching performances: a lack of run support that saw him go 7-7 in 17 starts at home last season, in spite of a 2.99 ERA.
  • And on and on and on.

Hey, I’m not here to sound a death knell, things are not as bad as they seem. Though we’ve had some warm weather early on, it is not yet what Charlie calls “Hittin’ Season,” and J.A. Happ is getting a start on Saturday, which I know will appease a great many of us, as we know that he is a capable young pitching prospect. Also, there are 130 games left and more than 4 months to play those games.

It’s been ugly lately, but this team really seems to be unsinkable. Remember when the offense vanished like a fart in the wind last summer? When they didn’t really get their balls back until that comeback stunner against the Mets last August?

If it seems like I’m polishing a turd right now, so be it. But I see no reason to get alarmed. There’s really not a goddamned thing any of us can do about it anyway. Just keep watching and listening, keep reading this blog, keep attending as many games as possible, scream RAUUUUL! at the top of your lungs and boo Rollins as much as possible until he bats .400 this month like he promised and then swears never to play so shittily ever again. Hey, and J.C. is ready to go soon, he’ll be doing some rehab assignments shortly.

So is there a bright side to this 1.5 week-long clusterfuck? Sure, if you want to spin it that way. Maybe they can man up against those perennial patsies of the NL East, the Washington Nationals and get some momentum going for the rest of their 10-game road trip which will take them to the new Yankee Stadium by way of the Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati. They’re going to need it.




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4 responses to “IS THERE A BRIGHT SIDE?

  1. Stef

    Luis Guzman is a stone-cold pimp, surpassed only by Alfred Molina.

    This post has me singing “High Hopes”, dude. Well played.

  2. Also, I will now able to see games since my collegiate activities are over for the summer.
    /fuck paying to see games

  3. Ender

    The Iraq Guard line is a keeper. I might steal it for my column.

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