IN CASE OF EMERGENCY USE STAIRS

Once again Matt Stairs took me off suicide watch when he came in to pinch hit in the 8th inning and do what he does best: hit a long ass home run to put the Phils on the board and, more importantly this time, break up Dave Bush’s no-no. Manuel is pretty pissed about the lack of offense the past 2 nights and I can’t blame him. Here is an awesome quote from Stairs:

Asked if he’d ever broken up a no-no before, Stairs said, “Yeah, in the first inning.”

As deflated as the crowd was yesterday, when Stairs came to bat it was as if we had a chance to win the game with one swing of his mighty Canadian lumber (no homo). Anyway, I don’t want to talk about this game anymore. So I leave you today with the Matt Stairs theme song and Douche of the Day.

DOUCHE OF THE DAY: ADAM EATON

DOUCHE OF THE DAY: ADAM EATON

Out of sight, out of mind won’t work on this one, douche. You are the poster child for douche. You didn’t win a world series last year, you watched one, douche. Your quality start yesterday was a fluke and will be the only one of the season, douche. I hate you so much it makes me want to punch myself in my dick, douche…

The title of this blog post was inspired by The Fightins/Birdland store from this shirt. I suggest everyone buys it because it is genius.

-Chris

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY USE STAIRS

  1. Also, please tell me this quote “Asked if he’d ever broken up a no-no before, Stairs said, “Yeah, in the first inning.”” is real.

  2. Make sure the world recognizes his heroics and vote Stairs into the All-Star game.

  3. Haha, it took me a while to get the title. Stairs is a beastttt..

    Adam Eaton is the exact opposite.

  4. Yes that quote is real, it was in the Inquirer. Stairs is the man. I’ll post the link for the All Star Game tomorrow.

  5. Awesome, thanks man! I’m going to make a post about that quote and I’ll source you.

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