One thing I have always found funny is how ridiculous some players look in their MLB player profile pictures. A perfect example of this hilarity is Jamie Moyer’s picture from last year. But I decided it is time we find out who has the WORST player picture and/or is just an ugly person in general. So today I pose the question to you, who is the ugliest player in all of baseball? The nominees:
In this picture Braden Looper looks like a neanderthal. He looks like evolution never quite finished it’s process and he is more reminiscent of a caveman then an actual human being.
Cantu’s MLB player profile picture doesn’t quite do justice to just how ugly Jorge Cantu is (Photoshop magic I presume). His face looks like someone dumped a half a jar of marinara sauce on his face and he went outside and let it dry in the sun. Pro-active acne medication would wave the white flag on this one.
This guy just looks like a toad. If you remove his goatee I don’t even want to imagine what he might look like. You know it’s bad when a person’s saving grace is their facial hair.
Amazing pitcher, don’t get me wrong, but what the fuck is going on here? His head is huge but all his facial features are packed dead center and smushed together. The only person/thing that I can even compare him to is the Toxic Avenger. He has to be an early favorite for the crown of ugliest MLB player.
Uhm, where do I begin? Like Cantu this picture doesn’t do his ugliness justice. Please, people, look at this picture. What the fuck is even happening there? It looks like a spider fucked his face and laid eggs under alm0st every part of his face. They all must have hatched before his MLB profile picture was taken. That or Photoshop strikes again. He is at the point, no matter how much of an asshole I am, I feel bad for him.
At first glance you might not think he is that bad, especially after Astacio, but after a second glance you might see what I saw. Which was this. Now, if I didn’t already know who actually played Freddie Krueger then I would probably just assume it was him. Scary.
I’m not quite sure who to compare Duncan to. The best I can do is Timmy from South Park. Seriously put your gums away. Try smiling with your mouth closed, it could do wonders.
With all this said, I’m going to hell. And you might say to yourself “Who is this guy to judge others?” well, I’m just an asshole with nothing better to write about. Who would you say is the ugliest?